Fairy tales are wonderful love stories! What is your favorite fairy tale? The new Beauty and The Beast movie came out recently, and it reminded me of some questions I had about subliminal messages, of fairy tales. Have you ever thought about the subliminal messages that fairy tales send little girls, teenagers, and women?

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Think about it? What message does a fairy tale of a beautiful young girl being kidnapped by a beast and forced to fall in love with him send?  This beautiful young woman must deal with all the beast issues and “fix him up” so that he can be “presentable” to the world.

How about a beautiful and gifted young woman struggling to start her business, who kisses a frog and she is turned into a frog? In how to unlock hidden subliminal messages in fairy tales, I will explore some of the messages that fairy tales send us.

“Subliminal messages of fairy tales? Oh, it’s just a movie Janice,” You might be saying. Do you think there’s nothing to it and that fairy tales are just loved stories for us to enjoy?

Have you noticed that the women in fairy tales are often a virgin, young, and very beautiful?In contrast, have you noticed that in the fairy tales, it is never a handsome young prince who needs to turn an ugly witch of a woman into a beautiful princess?

What message do you think some fairy tales send to a girl who is single or dating and might meet a “beast” of a man?

In the example of The Beauty and The Beast, we meet Belle; a beautiful young woman who was kidnapped by a beast. He needed her to “fix” him up and fall in love with him. Think about all the things Belle needed to do to get the beast to be a man she could fall in love with?

Or how about the beautiful, gifted and talented Tiana, a young lady who needed to kiss a frog? Have you had to kiss any frogs in hopes that he would turn into your prince?

What were your favorite fairy tales as a little girl?

 

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Princess Ariel

My favorite fairy tales were The Little Mermaid and Sleeping Beauty. I loved the whole idea of Princess Ariel wanting to become human, the music and the whole scenery. But what I loved most of all was that her father, King Triton, wanted the best for her.

And Sleeping Beauty, also known as Aurora, to me signifies a young woman sleeping in her singleness.

She waits for her real prince to find her and wake her up from her sleep of singleness by making her his wife.

Oh, I get chills just thinking about those two-fairy tales. And, would you believe I have little mermaids all over my room?

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Princess Aurora

Where Do Messages Come From?

Do you know that everything sends a message? Yes, everything. Have you heard of nature/nurture?

Messages come from:

  1. Parents
  2. Caretakers
  3. Teachers
  4. Environments
  5. Religion
  6. Books
  7. Movies

Subliminal messages come from everything and everyone. They stay in your subconscious, which means most of the time you don’t know that they are there.

But based on the things you do, decisions you make, you might sometimes wonder why you are doing some of that stuff.

The Subliminal Messages of The Fixer Upper Man

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Fixer Upper

In the two mentioned fairy tales, the men were not presented as “fixer-uppers.” However, let’s define the term “fixer-upper.”

What’s a fixer-upper?

A fixer-upper is something that you need to fix up. Think of the phrase “fixer-upper house.”

A fixer-upper house is one that you purchase with the intent of investing a lot of time, energy, patience, and money to get it to where you need it to be.

The purpose of investing so much in your fixer-upper house is so:

  1. that you can either flip it for more than you invested; or
  2. to live in it.

For example, when I was house shopping, I was not interested in a “fixer-upper.” However, I needed a home that I could paint and move into. I did not have the time, energy, patience or money to invest in a “fixer-upper.”

Additionally, I wanted a particular type of home. Being the mom of a beautiful special needs young lady, I wanted to find a home with a third-floor apartment so that she can have her space.

Applying this same principle as a single young woman, dating for marriage, I was not interested in “fixer-upper” men.

While we are all works in progress, there are just some men who need too much work. And honestly, I didn’t have the time, patience or energy to invest in a “fixer-upper” man.

I was a teen mom and homeless, and I struggled to make a life for my daughter and myself. Therefore, the last thing I wanted in my life was a man that would require “fixing up.”

Again, we are all works in progress. However, there is a difference between fixing and building up a man from ground versus supporting a man who is on his journey.

Ladies, what are some examples of “fixer upper” men?

Have you ever wondered why some women feel the need to fix up a man to make him the husband that they desire?

How about you? Have you ever gotten into a relationship with a man who is not what you want? But, you think you could fix him up so that he can become the man that you need who would become your husband?

How about a man who doesn’t work but you are willing to take care of him? Have you ever made excuses for him not working and not being a provider?

Do you defend him by saying you make enough money for you both and you don’t need him for his money? But, deep down on the inside, you are dying for him to get up and become the man you want him to be.

Have you gotten into a relationship with a man and you know he has cheating and anger issues? But you think you can “fix him up” so that he wouldn’t cheat on you?

How about trying to change a man? Have you gotten into a relationship with a man thinking that you can “change” him?

Ladies, have you ever met a man that should have it together but he doesn’t? And he gives you the “oh I just need a good woman like you to help and push me.”

And ladies, you fall for it by thinking “oh he’s so cute, he needs me to help him.”

No!! A toddler is cute! Not a 40-year-old man who has not prepared himself to be a husband but is looking for a ‘girlfriend-momma’ to “fix him up!”

Ladies, a man that is 50 years old that is still doing the revolving jail door experience, is not a man that has prepared himself to be a husband.

The Beast & The Frog

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The Beast

Ladies, be honest with me. Have you ever met a known beast of a man that you know is a beast? Nevertheless, you convince yourself that you can turn the beast into a prince?

How about a frog? Have you ever kissed a dirty, nasty, slimy frog of a man hoping that you could turn him into a prince?

You know he is in the streets, selling drugs, in gangs, living the thuggish life, the revolving jail door type. Nevertheless, you are drawn to this “type” of man, knowing that the end will not be good.

Your heart and mind are telling you that he will not bring anything but trouble to you and your children. But your hunger and desire to have a “man” overtake the truth that he is a “frog.”

Additionally, in spite of knowing this, you are convinced that you can fix him up and turn him into a prince.

You Can’t Change a Man, but some Fairy Tales Will Have You Thinking That You Can.

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Princess Belle

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “you can’t change a man.?”

How many women do you know that have tried to “change a man?”

Have you ever heard the stories of women who moved a man in their homes that they share with their children because they want to “help him?”

These women hoped that he would work and help her to pay her bills and so on. Instead, he becomes another child that they must take care of and provide for.

However, some of these men end up abusing the children and even the women. Instead of him becoming the husband and father figure she desires, the real monster in him comes out.

You can read more of this in my book “He That Finds a Wife” coming soon.

Potential Will Sometimes Leave You Potentially Disappointed.

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Princess Tiana

I cringe every time I hear a woman say he is not what I want, but he has potential!! I want to scream “nnnnnnoooooooo, stop!!!! Wait a second. Let’s evaluate!!!”

How about the guy that doesn’t work or can’t keep a job? You get into a relationship with him, and you think that you can get him to get and keep a job because you thought “oh he has potential.”

But five years later, he is still not working, and you are carrying your family alone financially. In the meantime, he sits and plays video games while you work your fingers to the bone!

In the meantime, you’re putting food in his mouth, clothes on his back, a roof over his head and money in his pocket.

Sweety, that’s not a man that you want to turn into a husband, that’s a man-child.

What to Do When a Man Doesn’t Want to Marry “You”?

Perhaps you are a woman who wants to get married, but you’ve been dating a man who has told you that he doesn’t want to get married.

However, you’re thinking; “oh he is not ready.”

Instead of accepting what he says, you, however, feel as if your sexing, cooking, cleaning and taking care of him will change his mind and make him want to marry you?

Have you ever thought that maybe he just doesn’t want to marry “you”? I wrote an article about this why men sex us but don’t marry us. 57 Reasons Why Men Sex Us, But Don’t Wife Us?

Did you know that many men have stated that when they meet the woman they feel they are to marry, they will do just that? He won’t need any help making up his mind. Neither will you need to be trapped or anything like that.

And all you need do is to sit back and relax and wait for him to pop the big question. But that is only if “YOU” are the woman he chooses to spend the rest of his life with.

Guess what these men have also stated? It will not take them forever to ask you to be his wife.

Ssssshhhhh…., ladies, let me let you in on a little secret.

Sometimes, men will use the “I’m not ready yet” as an excuse. However, the truth is, he doesn’t want to marry the woman who has invested so much time in him.

And the mistake that some women make is to proceed to “make him ready to marry her.” Women then get in what I call the “mom role” of preparing her man like she would prepare her son to make him ready to marry her.

Something Interesting to Think About

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Princess Belle

Have you ever heard the statement that “a woman can’t teach a boy how to be a man?”

Why? The simple answer is because a boy needs a man to teach him how to be a man.

SSSOOOOOOO,   a mother who carried her son in her womb, nursed him, changed his diapers, wiped his tears, kissed his bruises and has taught him to be the best person he could be, she could not teach her son how to be a man.

Question: if a mother can’t teach her beloved son how to be a man, what makes a woman thinks that she can teach an adult “male” how to be a “man”?

How then do some women get into a relationship with an adult “male” who is not a “man.”

However, they convince themselves that they can teach him how to be a ‘man’?

What is the difference between a “male” and “man”?

The Bible states that God created “male” and “female.” Do you know why it didn’t say he created them “man and woman?”

Because we need to grow, mature and become a “man” or a “woman.”

Ladies, let’s be honest with ourselves! There are many “males” and “females” that have not become a “men” or “women.”

What Are Some Subliminal Messages of Some Fairy Tales?

How and where do women get these ideas of changing and fixing up men? As mentioned earlier, we get different messages from various sources, including fairy tales.

Have you ever thought about some of the subliminal messages that some fairy tales send?

Here are a few that you might get from some fairy tales and other sources:

  1. Deep down on the inside of the beast is a prince and it is your job and calling to bring the prince out of the beast.
  2. Sure, he is a beast but if you work on and with him, you can turn him into a prince.
  3. He has anger issues and is abusive, but you can get him not to be angry and abusive anymore.
  4. He has controlling issues which can turn into domestic violence, but your love will change him.
  5. He has imprisoned you with his controlling ways, but you can change him.
  6. So, what he’s forcing you to love him, living in a big house isn’t that bad.
  7. Yea, he’s dirty and slimy, but your love can turn him into a decent man.
  8. He doesn’t have a job, but you have enough money for both of you, so he doesn’t need to work.
  9. He isn’t what you want, but at least you’ll be able to say you have a man.
  10. It’s your job to get you both out of whatever mess he gets you into: be it financial, adultery, abuse, etc.

Have You Gotten the Help A Brotha Out Mentality?

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Princess Jasmine

As much as I love the Princess and The Frog, that movie bothered me. Because even though it is a cartoon and “love story” it is so real and happens daily. Countless women have kissed frogs and turned into frogs themselves.

I call this the “help a brotha out” mentality.

We see a hard-working young woman who is trying to make a life for herself.

But here comes a slick talker who instead of working to make a life for himself so that he can be prepared to be a husband, he wants to find a wealthy young woman to marry. Here’s an article about marriage and money.

Do you know any guys that attach themselves to women who have “made it” or is trying to make a life for themselves?

Here Are A Few Other Subliminal Messages

  1. You are a hard-working woman trying to make a life for yourself and children, why can’t you “help a brother out?”
  2. You have a dream, and you need someone to help you, but instead of him helping you, he drags you down into the mess.
  3. You think that if you get with him, then things will be better for you.
  4. You’ve made it but you don’t have a man, and you need a man to complete you?
  5. You’re a successful woman, but you’re hugging your pillow at night.

The slick talker gets your attention and drags you down into the dirty, slimy lifestyle.

Now you must figure out a way to get out of the mess that he dragged you down into. And, to at least get back to where you were before?

You might be thinking, “oh Janice, you are reading too much into this.” Honestly, do you know anyone that fits any of the examples I have listed above has happened to them?

How about you? Have any of the examples above happened to you?

Or are you thinking that both ladies came out okay in the end? How many women in “real life” do you know that tried to make, fix up or change a beast or frog into a prince? Did they get their prince in the end?

Or how many women do you know who build and stuck by a man while she built him and when he “made it” he leaves her only to go and marry another woman?

I know quite a few “well known” folks like that. How about you?

The reasons most men eventually leave the woman who stuck by his side while he had nothing or while she builds him, is because she was playing the role of his mom.

What about the many women who married a “potential” and paid the price for it?

What about women who got with a frog or a beast and turned them into a prince. But, in the end, their prince leaves them to find someone who only knows him as the prince that you made and built.

Because in her eyes he will always be a prince, but in your eyes, he will always be the beast or frog that you turned into a prince.

In the end, all men crave and desire respect more than anything else. When you build a man like you do your son, some men might think you will not recognize them for the prince that you have built them into.

Therefore, you will always see him as the beast, slimy frog or fixer-upper that he was. But the new woman will only see and experience him as the “prince” that you have built and made him into.

How about you? Have you fallen into a trap with any of these “fix up a man” type thinking?

Remember, I am not saying that fairy tales are the only things that send us these subliminal messages. However, I think it’s worth thinking about, don’t you?

We Need Husbands

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No one is perfect, but God gives us examples in his word for us to follow.

And please do not get the idea that I am saying as women we don’t need men.

Let me say it loud and clear and this is just MY OPINION!

WE NEED HUSBANDS!!

And I believe that:

HUSBANDS ARE A NEED!

But what we don’t need is another “child” in a grown man’s body aka man-child.

What Can We Do About Subliminal Messages?

The story of Adam and Eve is one of my favorites, and I have written about extensively in my new book coming soon: The Sacrifice of Marriage.

As women, we all want that perfect man that can be our husband.  The issue is, however, that there is no perfect man. But, I do believe there is a perfect man/husband for you.

When you meet that perfect man, things will flow smoothly. I’m not saying there won’t be any trials and tribulations. However, because you are with the perfect man for you, you will both work it out together.

Ladies, if you must build up and make a man, then trust me, he is not the man for you.

You might think you are making him for you, but nine out of ten times you are building him up for the next woman.

If he is a man that is not able to provide for you, he is not for you.

Ladies, I believe that when we choose our husbands, that we need to be comfortable living at the level he can provide for us.

If he is a man that you must stay on, as you must a child, he is not the man for you.

You are supposed to be his wife and not his momma.

If you are rushing into a relationship or marriage because you are tired of waiting, please don’t do it.

Are you about to rush into a marriage because of your biological clock? Huge mistake!

Confronting Subliminal messages

I was single for a very long time and longer than I could have imagined. For years I just knew that I would have been married at least by age 25.

But I didn’t get married until I was 35. So, I had to confront a lot of the subliminal messages that came from various sources.

How do you confront subliminal messages?

  1. First, recognize that everything sends messages.
  2. Second, renew your mind with the Word of God.
  3. Third, instead of allowing the subliminal messages to rule your heart and mind, enable the word of the Lord to take root.

The story of Adam and Eve is one that can help you to renew your mind on God’s will about marriage.

It is important to note that Adam was a mature man that God prepared to be a husband. If you read the story of Adam, you will see that God gave him a job before He gave him a wife.

Adam was not a fixer-upper that Eve needed to teach him to be a man or get a job.

Another important factor to note is that there is a big difference between a 20-year-old, who is trying to build his life versus a 40-year-old trying to “make it.”

So, Let’s Take an Inside Look into The Story of Adam and Eve.

  1. Adam spent time with God alone so he could learn who he is.
  2. God gave Adam a career before a wife.
  3. Adam was established in his manhood and career before he got married.
  4. God gave Eve to Adam as a gift.
  5. Adam spoke into Eve’s life.
  6. Adam could profess, provide and protect Eve.
  7. Eve did not have to build Adam.
  8. Eve did not have to tell Adam who he was.
  9. Eve did not have to find Adam a job.
  10. Eve did not have to provide for Adam.
  11. Adam provided for all of Eve’s need.

Good Subliminal Messages from Adam and Eve That We Need to Apply

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  1. A husband is a need. (I know this offends some but will discuss in a future article.)
  2. If he has not gone to God to find out who he is, he will need you to tell him.
  3. If he doesn’t have a career, he doesn’t need a wife.
  4. If he is going from job to job, he is not an established man, and you will have to provide for him.
  5. A woman should not go looking for a man. However, women need to make ourselves available to be found.
  6. If you must tell him who he is, he is not your husband.
  7. If you must profess, provide and protect him, he is your son-man and not your husband.
  8. God did not tell you to build a man.
  9. If he is not able to speak into your life like Adam did Eve, that’s an issue.
  10. If you have to tell him to get and keep a job, then he’s your son and not a man you want marry.
  11. God did not create you to provide for a man. (Not including if your HUSBAND got hurt at work and you need to help to provide for your)
  12. If you must provide for all your needs and his needs, why do you need him? That’s your son and not a man to marry!

Finally, think about all the subliminal messages you get from various sources.

Match them up to the word of God because you need a measuring stick, and that’s God’s Word.

Do you know what God has said about marriages? How a husband and wife are to submit to each other?

Sure, many will have you to think the wife is to submit to the husband, but before God said that, he told both husband and wife to submit to each other FIRST.

What do other subliminal messages you think have affected your decision making and your life?

Ladies remember that you are too special to settle for less than your heart’s desire.

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You have the capacity to love and be the wife of a WHOLE MAN!!!

What are your thoughts on fairy tales and subliminal messages?

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Thank You

♥Janice♥