It amazes me how many couples are experiencing marriage and money problems.
Let’s play a little Jeopardy
Answer: Sex and Money
What’s the question?
(queue jeopardy music…………)
Question: What are the two things that people don’t want to talk about but everyone is doing it and every one wants some?
In spite of this, many couples get married and become “one” without discussing how their “marriage and money” will become one.
I find it shocking when married women state that they don’t know how much their husbands earn. Or they have never seen a pay stub; physical or electronic.
On the other hand, some wives state that their husband doesn’t know how much they earn because they don’t care.
Other wives report that they make more than their husbands and it would hurt their ego if they knew they made more.
Still, some wives imply that because their husbands “provide” therefore, they don’t need to know how much money they have coming in.
The question then becomes, what about when you file taxes? Don’t they see how much you have earned?
Some wives state that they file separately because of child support, debt or other financial responsibilities their husbands have.
With so many variables affecting marriages, it is no wonder many marriages are experiencing marriage and money problems.
It is not surprising that money is one of the #1 reasons for divorce and is a huge stressor.
Even more shocking some couples were getting married, yet they didn’t know how much debt they both had.
These same couples get married and then when a financial issue shows up, both people look like a deer caught in the headlights.
If you are a woman that is about to get married and you have not sat down with your future husband to have an honest and in-depth conversation about money, I would encourage you to do so before you get married.
I honestly believe that marriage is not only a covenant but also a contract.
Once you sign on the dotted line, you are now responsible for your husband and vice versa.
So, if they are in debt and you were out of debt as a single person, guess what? Now that you are married to the man that’s in debt, you are now in debt too.
I will talk about this more in part 2.
Nevertheless, If you are currently married and are experiencing marriage and money problems, you have come to the right place.
If it’s possible and your marriage is salvageable, and you are both willing to work on it, try these nine steps for the sake of your marriage.
Nine Ways To Quickly Resolve Your Marriage And Money Problems Quickly
1. Come to Jesus Moment
What is a come to Jesus moment?
You both realize that the way you have been going is not the right way. You both need to be honest with yourselves and decide to stop going the way you have been going.
If you are experiencing marriage and money problems, it will take both you and your husband to have a come to Jesus moment.
I do believe that the husband is the head and needs to be front and center.
There is an anointing that God releases when a husband takes charge and sets his home in order.
Unfortunately, from my book The Naked Wife (coming soon) and talking to many wives, some husbands have put the responsibility on their wives.
However, husbands need to realize that there are certain roles that we need them to take charge and control of.
So, ladies, if you are having marriage and money problems, and your husband is not a take charge type of man, then how about you suggest to him a come to Jesus moment?
While husbands are to be the “head” and to “lead” the truth is some are blind. If the wife who sees there is a danger, doesn’t steer her family in the right direction, the whole family will fall into a ditch. (My prayers are with you my sisters.)
Ladies, this is one of many reasons why it is imperative that the husband you choose is a leader.
2. It takes 2 To Fix Your Marriage and Money Problems.
I believe for a marriage to work; it will take both husband and wife working together to make it work.
Contrary to some beliefs, one person cannot make a marriage work.
Imagine an 18 wheeler truck on nine wheels. It was designed for 18 wheels to carry the weight. Can you see that vision? Exactly! It won’t work!
God designed marriage for a husband and wife, each with distinctive roles.
While compiling my new book The Naked Wife (coming soon), many wives are carrying their marriages alone. They are doing everything in their power to make the marriage work.
However, for some, it was only some time before they eventually were crushed under the weight.
Remember the picture of the 18-wheeler on nine wheels? A marriage needs both people to work at it to make it work.
3. Forgiveness Will Help Your Marriage and Money Problems
In fixing your marriage and money problems, forgiveness is needed.
Forgiveness takes both husband and wife, forgiving each other.
Unless forgiveness takes place, you won’t be able to move on.
Once you have had a come to Jesus moment, realize that it will take you both to work on this issue. And, you both need to forgive each other for the past. If you are not able to forgive, there is no moving on.
Again, for these nine steps to work you both need to:
1. Be honest with each other.
2. Forgive each other.
3. Take the necessary steps to build trust again.
4. A New Beginning
In fixing your marriage and money problems, a new beginning is necessary.
Now, ladies, you know your husbands and your marriages.
You know the type of man he is and if what he says is the truth.
I know some husbands are stubborn and only do lip service.
Therefore, only you will know if you are honestly both ready to fix your marriage and money problems.
To have a new beginning:
1. You both need to feel safe and secure.
2. It is important for your husband to understand this.
3. Lovingly and gently express to him that you need to feel safe and secure.
4. It’s important for him to follow through.
5. It’s important for him to be the leader and take on the leadership role.
6. It’s important for him to lead you into a new beginning.
5. Put All Your Cards on The Table
“Putting all your cards on the table” means just that. However, to put all your cards on the table, #4 must be solid.
Ladies, you will not feel safe putting all your cards on the table if you cannot trust your husband.
Putting all your cards on the table requires vulnerability for you both.
1. Tell the truth about your marriage and money problems.
2. Bring all your money secrets. Come baring them all.
3. Bring all your debts, bills, secret bank accounts, money under the mattress, bring it all.
4. Ladies, if you have been buying shoes and pocket books hiding them in the trunk of your car, bring those too.
5. If your husband has a bad relationship with money and his money habits hurt you, you need to address those things too.
You are not able to have an honest conversation with your husband; then I would suggest marriage counseling.
Let’s not pretend everyone is open about having honest conversations.
Neither are many men open to marriage counseling. However, the truth is sometimes you will need help to address some issues.
Therefore, please seek a marriage counselor so that you can have an objective third party to walk you through it
6. A plan is needed To Fix Your Marriage and Money Problems.
What’s the plan to help you quickly fix your marriage and money problems?
How will you avoid getting back to where you currently are now?
The following are some questions you both need to have definite answers to the questions on the table.
1. Where are you financially?
2. How much debt are you in?
3. How much savings do you have?
4. Do you have life insurance?
5. If one of you loses your job what’s the plan?
(My husband and I have a plan, and I know the exact steps we would make. Therefore, I don’t worry about him losing his job.)
6. Where do you want to be financially in a year from today?
7. How are you going to get there?
8. What is your plan?
Right after we got married, we took an excellent and revolutionary financial seminar and workshop. I will write more about this shortly.
7. Giving is Necessary
Once you have done steps 1-6, the first thing you need to do is to give an offering.
Here are a few ideas of giving:
1. Make a sacrifice and give something.
2. I prefer to give money, but it doesn’t have to be.
3. Cook a meal for a needy family.
4. Buy groceries for a family in need.
5. Give something of value from your home etc.
In the Bible when the people decide to make a change, the first thing they did was to make a sacrifice.
Yes, Jesus is our ultimate sacrifice. Nevertheless, when you give an offering, you are saying to the Lord, that you are ready to make a change.
Did you read my testimony how I was a homeless teen mom? However, I brought my tithes and offerings to the Lord, and the Lord blessed my daughter and I?
When you give, you are giving God permission to bless you. Giving opens the flood gates of favor, and even allows debt cancellation.
8. Changing Your Speech Will Help with Your Marriage and Money Problems.
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.
Changing your speech goes back to step #7.
When you give you are saying, I’m going to do something different.
Before you began on this journey did you use to speak negatively about your money? You will need to change your speech.
Let’s look at the scripture above:
1. Death and life are present.
2. Death and life are in your tongue. That means depending on what you say will bring death or life to your life and your situation.
3. Those who love it and indulge will have the fruit. In other words, you will have the result of what you say. Or whatever you say, you will have.
4. If you speak death over your life, then death you will have.
5. However, if you speak life, then you will get a life.
Now that you are on a new journey and a new beginning, changing your speech is a must!!
One of my later articles will address how to improve your speech, so please check back.
9. Thanksgiving Will Help You with Your Money and Marriage Problems.
And last but not least, thanksgiving will assist you with your money and marriage problems.
Sometimes we are focused on what we don’t have and are not thankful for what we have. I experienced this some time ago with some circumstances that was taking place in my life.
I became discouraged and didn’t have a grateful spirit but instead, was murmuring and complaining.
Then I turned my complaints into worship and thanksgiving and began to look for things daily to give thanks to God for.
In closing, many marriages deal with marriage and money problems. Having marriage and money problems can be stressful in any marriage.
With marriages, there are already so many issues that couples have to deal with.
Adding additional stressors such as financial strain can be strenuous for any marriage.
If your marriage is currently facing marriage and money problems, I hope this quick guide will help you to address and deal with those problems.
Here is another article I completed about how God made a way for my daughter and I.
Have you encountered marriage and money problems?
What tools did you use to fix them?
Please click on the comment button below and let me know what tools you have used.
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